Recovering from a Money Fight

Episode 082

Just about every couple has been in a money fight at some point. Even a fight triggered by something else can have a root cause which is a money issue. Financial coach, Stephen Finney, helps couples stop fighting about money. He shares the importance of getting to the main issue to start to solve the problem which might be less complicated than we think.

“I’m not stressed because we don’t have the money. I’m stressed because I don’t have clarity and confidence around where our money’s going. If I did, it would probably be fine.”

Stephen shares his first 6 steps on how to recover from a money fight and we discuss the best ways to diffuse the situation quickly so positive actions can happen.

1. Take some time to process. Emotions are high, one of you needs time to process emotion.
2. Gain awareness around your thoughts. Are you blaming? Building your case against them? Just ask yourself without self-judgment what you are doing.
3. Find the 1% of the conflict that YOU were responsible for. Own it, admit it to yourself. Put them first in spite of it. This is hard. The risk is that they won’t reciprocate. Do it anyway!
4. Approach them and own your part, without blaming them.
5. THEN, and only then: Use a “when, I felt” statement. When this situation happened, I felt <blank>.
6. Get some help! Don’t wait. Use me or a counselor to be a third party. It’s ok to ask for help.

To contact Stephen you can visit his website finneyfinancial.com or email him at stephen@finneyfinancial.com.

Costumes

Stephen didn’t have a particular costume in mind for our recording. That gave me a chance to wear this fabulous sequined devil horns headband I got from our neighbor at a garage sale. Turned out I had a shirt and lipstick which matched perfectly!

Follow the show on Instagram @moneyheartshow to see more pics of my costumes from each episode. I also include my guest’s costume when they choose to wear one.